Saturday, 26 February 2011

Thoughts on watching the cricket

I have just been sitting here watching the highlights of the World Cup match between Australia and New Zealand. I guess the Kiwis can be forgiven for a lacklustre performance today.

It took me back to 2003.
We had tickets that year for the World Cup in South Africa. I had bought the tickets about 6 months ahead of time when they were still quite cheap. Then we started house-hunting, and decided to buy this place. Had all gone to plan we would have been settled in here by the November and could have travelled, but it all went haywire and turned into the move from hell.

As the whole sale process dragged on and on, we ended up having to cancel the trip, much to our huge disappointment. Ultimately we moved house right in the middle of the competition.

Although we cancelled because of the house move, it also proved to have been the right decision in another way - my Dad died right in the middle of the time we would have been in Cape Town. He had been living with leukaemia for many years, and his health was up and down all the time, but his death came right out of the blue. I can't imagine how I would have felt if I had been a 12-hour flight away. I think there was less than 2 weeks between his death and our move, with his funeral in the middle of it all.

It is funny how things like conveyancing and packing, which seemed incredibly stressful before, suddenly became of no importance whatsoever. We had brought Dad up to see the house the Christmas before he died, but only from the outside. He never got to see it inside, or the land that goes with it, which he would have loved. We never got to ride together on the steam train that sets off from my nearest town. So many things we were unable to do together.

After missing out on South Africa, R and I talked a lot about going to the West Indies for the 2007 event. But by that time he was contracting and was reluctant to commit to going, just in case it would have prevented him picking up work.
I wish we had gone. I know the whole event was rather chaotic and the cricket wasn't great that year, but he could have at least ticked off a few more 1st class grounds from his bucket list.

When you think you have a 'normal' lifespan stretching in front of you, it is so easy to let things slip or pass by because there will be plenty of time to do them later.

If only that were true for everyone.

In my new life I am much more inclined to seize the day. It is hard not to regret the missed moments. All I can do, though, is to ensure that there aren't so many in the future. I just wish R were here to share the unmissed ones.


  1. Every time we would leave my Mom, after a visit, she would tell D and I to do everything we wanted while we still could. Ya, ya we said, thinking we had all this time before us! Little did we know! But still, we were contented and happy so that counts for something. But there are things, travel things, that we never got done. D was a GREAT traveler! The best I have ever met. I'm not one to travel alone.

  2. "When you think you have a 'normal' lifespan stretching in front of you, it is so easy to let things slip or pass by because there will be plenty of time to do them later." So very true, J. After Austin died I had a few regrets of things we put off for many different reasons. I now try to live with carpe diem as my motto, and if I could only win the lottery, it may become even more possible :) Bucket lists tend to require extra money. Maybe I need to tone my down a little...

  3. @Cicero Sings: Yes, you are right. We all have 20:20 hindsight, don't we? Contentment and happiness are worth more than all the possible 'experiences' put together.

    @Debbie: "Bucket lists tend to require extra money": Ain't that the truth! Or time, which I guess is why we save them up for our retirement - and the way the British government keeps raising the retirement age, I shall be too decrepit to do them before I have the time!

  4. We had just made our latest travel plans the day before matt drowned. So many things to see and do in this world. I used to be such a traveler. Now, I must say, I am still feeling the "yeah, neat things to see. So what? He isn't here to see them with me, so why go." I think because I feel like nothing is up to me anyway, wanting anything, wanting to do anything, seems ridiculous. Phht. Curmudgeon.

  5. You know those "Insights" profiling things that corporates tend to use for team-building etc? Well I re-did my profile out of interest to see if I'd changed since Cliff died. And I have. My profile is now yellow - meaning, "lives in the moment". LOL.

    Yes this teaches us that. But the sad thing, as you say is, that we can't share the moments with them.

    love xx

  6. @Megan: I like curmudgeons. They have a vital role to play in balancing out all the annoyingly cheerful people!

    @Boo: Yes, it certainly has been all about living in the moment until now. Planning was never one of my strong points, but I am finding that being able to look forward again is starting to feel quite exhilarating.

  7. Ha! Well then, doing my part to offset unseemly cheeriness.