I find that this new life is very much a balancing act. Even the tiniest weight on one side can totally destroy my equilibrium.
On the negative side of the scale, I have just been let down hugely by some friends. After being kept dangling for several months with one excuse after another, I was told this weekend that they just weren't going to be able to do what they had promised faithfully that they were going to do. And this was after I had offered them several opportunities to back out gracefully and had offered to pay for the work, rather than them doing it as a favour.
As a result, my renovations have essentially been held up needlessly for four months and I am back where I would have been if they hadn't offered to help in the first place. I feel disappointed in them and very let down.
Hey ho. I guess it gives me an opportunity to put my current zen-like mood to the test!
On the plus side, my wonderful BIL and another friend, Chris, came over at the weekend and fitted the new bathroom. As well as the pleasure of seeing a job well done, it was lovely to spend some time talking about R and looking at boxes of old photographs. We have all known each other since university - R and I got together in our first term, nearly 28 years ago - and these two friends were constant features in our life together.
Where did all those years go? How did we go from optimistic youth, via enthusiastic career-person through to contented middle-age without noticing the passage of time? It barely seems possible. Let alone to have it all end, in the blink of an eye, just over a year ago.
Yet end it did. But having these two strong pairs of arms there, ready to hold me up when I wobble, almost makes it bearable.
And then there were the others. Three other sets of friends just 'happened' to be passing through the area over the past few days.
If you knew where I live, you would understand that no one 'just passes through'. It isn't really on the way to anywhere. But however poorly disguised the excuses, the love behind it was appreciated in every case.
And all these warm positives have tipped the scale back to the optimistic spectrum, for a while at least.
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Well done keeping your positive attitude when you could have easily spiraled "to the dark side" (as my Star Wars loving boys say). Glad you had the opportunity to spend time reminiscing with people who loved R. That is such a gift!
ReplyDeleteDebbie
How terrific to have your BIL and friend come by to take care of some work around the place. Yes, I too have experienced some disappointments -- actually more than just a few -- but it seems that, in the end, we will muddle through. By the way, the farm is sold and I'll soon be leaving in my van with the two dogs for an autumn and winter of wandering in the southwest states. It'll be a little difficult after 31 years here at the farm, but I'm pretty sure I'm doing the right thing. Good luck with all of the tasks that need to be done at your place.
ReplyDeleteit is a testament to who you are that you have your BIL and friend and the three other sets of friends who 'happened' by. such friendship, the chosen family, is a blessing. i am happy for you that you have hung on to your zen attitude as you call it. i pray this peace you have found continues on and on......
ReplyDeleteas always, peace
I know how that feels, and I also know how it feels when you have other friends who can somehow tip the scales so that you don't spiral down to that deep dark place. Thank goodness for them. I have actually sent my blog link onto those special people because it's so important that they know how much I love and appreciate them for what they are and what they do. Hoorah for BIL's - I love mine :-)
ReplyDeleteJ - just checking in with you to see if you are ok xxxx
ReplyDelete@ Boo: I'm still here. Pretty swamped with work at the moment, and too much to do outside when I'm not working.
ReplyDelete